Random

...Nothing I Want More...

I'm striving to grow stronger. There is nothing I want more than to please my God and become a better me for Him. Some times seem down and look so dim. Those are the times when I need to look straight up to my Maker. "Through You, I can run, dance, live and overcome this world that tries to blind me. I will drown if You don't help me stay afloat." I'm in a whole new boat. As I sit on Young Street, I want to grow older. I realize this discipline can make me more mature. This month has driven me to my knees more than my whole life. The strange part is other parts of my life have been filled with more strife. I will start this climb with determination. I will do anything so I won't hit the bottom. Right now, it feels like this will take forever. "Lord, please give me the patience to get through this."

JDM

The Nativity

THE NATIVITY

Among the oxen (like an ox I'm slow)
I see a glory in the stable grow
Which, with the ox's dullness might at length
Give me an ox's strength.
Among the asses (stubborn I as they)
I see my Savior where I looked for hay;
So may my beastlike folly learn at least
The patience of a beast.
Among the sheep (I like a sheep have strayed)
I watch the manger where my Lord is laid;
Oh that my baa-ing nature would win thence
Some woolly innocence.

— C. S. Lewis, from POEMS, edited by Walter Hooper, Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1977.

Come fly with me

Michael Buble

Come fly with me, let's fly let's fly away
If you can use some exotic booze
There's a bar in far Bombay
Come fly with me, let's fly let's fly away

Come fly with me, let's float down to Peru
In lama land, there's a one man band
And he'll toot his flute for you
Come fly with me, let's take off in the blue

Once I get you up there,
Where the air is rarefied
We'll just glide
Starry eyed
Once I get you up there
I'll be holding you so near
You may hear the angels cheer 
Because we're together

Weatherwise it's such a lovely day 
Just say the words, and we'll beat the birds
Down to Acapulco Bay
It's perfect, for a flying honeymoon - they say
Come fly with me, let's fly let's fly away

Once I get you up there,
Where the air is rarefied
We'll just glide
Starry eyed
Once I get you up there
I'll be holding you so near
You may hear all the angels cheer 
Because we're together

Weatherwise it's such a lovely day
You just say the words, and I'll beat the birds
Down to Acapulco Bay
It's perfect, for a flying honeymoon - they say
Come fly with me
Let's fly let's fly
Pack up let's fly away

vaca

Yes. It is vacation. Christmas Break!
I'm here at my sister's. I've babysitted my niece, helped cook meals, watched movies, gone to the store, etc. Its not exactly glamorious, but its exactly what I like. Today we helped move some of my other sister's things. There are still a few things to get, but the major things are packed or moved.
Now as soon as we are ready me and my lil' bro are going to see our other bro that's recovering from surgery :) The surgery was complete and my brother has shown good progress. Thank God.



Christmas is a week away. HOOOLLLAAHHH!!!

"Ignorance is your new best friend"

I cannot say that I am completely done with my first semester of college, but it is close. Close as in tomorrow. I just got out of English Comp I and I am excited. It was a very interesting class and over semester at that.
I am sitting here in the school library listening to Paramore- Ignorance. :)
And of course I am on Facebook too, just fulfilling the addiction. HA! I hope next semester is as fulfilling as this one was. But I don't care so much about next semester as I do about Christmas break. YES! That's what I'm talking bout... a nice break!!!

Winter is the End

There is so much warm love inside fighting the cold outside. I sit at my window to see and hear carolers singing their hope of the holiday. Enjoying a crackling fire and some hot cocoa. Someone says "Grab your gloves and hat. Dress from head to toe like an Eskimo. Join me on a sleigh ride." Almost all is gone. There are skaters and fisherman left on the frozen pond. I shiver from old man winter. Mixed emotions are spread between celebrating the best holiday's of the year compared to the deathly chill. The snowflakes are what makes this season so beautiful compared to the green grass and colorful flowers of other seasons. It doesn't matter if it's the form of new life or the passing of it, I can see the hand that created it. God, You created this cycle, teaching me You are there through it all. It doesn't matter where I am in life, You direct and guide it. Jesus take my seasons. Don't let me go through a new set of seasons without seeing Your power and having You in it.

JDM

A miracle of Love

I just got done signing in and looking over the pamphlet from the drama performed friday, saturday and tonight.God really helped everyone. I love the feeling of being behind stage and actually knowing what's going on or supposed to be going on. :) I really enjoyed being in it, but I am even more glad that it is over. It means that finals are ahead then we shall be blessed with Christmas break. YES!!! Finals will be interesting, but I know God will help me and that's the way to get through anything.

Now

Well, right now the dress rehearsal we had tonight is on my mind. With the pizza and ice cream we had afterward provided by the student council. The drama team and choir still needs practice and prayer, but what I've seen from other years here, it always turns out nice. The English and Music class assignments are both on my mind too. Some things are becoming easier and others are becoming harder. These two last weeks of this semester are quite tough. I do seem to be staying afloat and it will only stay that way with God. I think I shall go depart for my bed so it will be easier on my eyelids in class tomorrow. They seem to get quite heavy at times.

*I crack up laughing to myself cause I just heard two guys talking in the hall way about their girlfriends. It seems to them that females, especially their g/fs, always seem to have the last word.*

home

Yes, I am home. I am here at the computer desk blogging at home. It's awesome! ( shooing cat's swaying tail out of face)I'm here with my cat enjoying a lazy saturday night. Plus, I'm listening to Christmas music. I just thought it would be wonderful to blog at home for once in months. Probably won't do this again till Christmas break( the cat is ready to pounce on my sister who is sorting papers.) I've been to my grandparents to celebrate Thankgiving, gone to the movies to see New Moon, put up the Christmas tree, and watched a few movies at home, and gone to Guitar Center. *Update complete* lol. ( my cat is staring at me like "Come on Jon, let's go do something fun" lol

Oath

I'm reading a book by Frank Peretti called The Oath and I'm loving it. If I have time over Thanksgiving break I want to finish it. I only read it in my spare time, which isn't much. There was a quote that I just made my day the other day when I was reading it.

"...they worshiped and tampered and played with sin so much it became a thing with wings and scales and legs and teeth. People do that, you know, hang onto sin like it was a little pet. Problem with this pet is, it grows. It gets big and ugly and obvious, and before long it starts calling the shots. And it kills people, Benson[person being spoken to]. Used to be it was small enough to scarf you down in small pieces. Now it's big enough to take you down in two, three bites. It hooks you like a fish, hooks you right through the heart, and then it reels you in. Oh, and it can wait. It can choose the time. It might wait years, but it takes you sooner or later. Always does... Used to be sin was a dirty little secret you could keep inside. Well, not anymore. It's too big now, too mean, too hungry. It's pay day. Like God told Cain, 'Sin is crouching at the door, wanting to devour you'''

Skating

Just a few pictures from skating last friday day night( Saturday morning) :)


Chris

Darren

Brandon

Keith, Elizebath, Jenni and Janet

Me

"project"??

Here's the quick summary.( I may have a few detail a little off, but this is the gist of it)
Jenni, Ashley and Maria who are friends and my classmates in psychology hung out together last week quite a bit. I do believe that it was thursday or friday of last week that they got a great idea! ( Or NOT!) They wanted to do a neat experiment for their general psychology grade. So they decided on certain rules to there project.

1. Each one could not talk to a certain male for a week, except for one worded answers if asked a question.
2. The two other girls could talk to the other males, just not the certain they chose.
3. They could not text, message, call, speak, chat, etc with the chosen male.
4. They could not tell outsiders of this project. They could only refer to it as "the project" in public.

With rules like these they began there "project". I of course saw changes in the girls, but was for sure not going to get in a females way. lol. I thought, "Maybe I did something to offend them. Maybe they're are just going through a difficult time. etc". You know? I just didn't want to get involved. Laugh if you want, but I made it something bigger. I prayed about it, I was like, "God, I don't care, just deal with it, cause I'm not."

The great part was I was one of the male victims. The other two guys were ...one random guy on campus that is an acquaintance and the other one was a close friend that lives far away.

The funny thing is girls cannot go that long without talking to their male friends. They ended the experiment yesterday( two days early). One of the girls was really stressed out, which made the other girls stressed too. I heard they were crying for each other and going crazy. lol. I had no idea I was a victim, but I wasn't totally surprised or happy when I found out. These girls claim that I was acting really different during this time, but most of the people I talked to didn't see a difference in me. I think it is only the 3 girls views.

I personally think they deserve the results. They were the ones that decided to do this project for their grade and they could of done something that wasn't so emotional and stressful for them. I just laugh now.

End of Sentence

I stretch out my arms to the sky as far as they can reach. Then I bring them back as if I'm holding something precious close to my heart. My heart is free. The joy is flooding. It's my E.O.S. The sentence is over. I'm tired of that old state I was in. The inmates holler as I walk past. They've grown accustom to their lives. Lives of hatred, pride and destruction. If only they had patience to be free like me. "Remember, It's never to late for your end too. It can come any day." The gate hides what awaits me on the other side.The door opens. The sun already shines brighter. The breeze blows my hair in every direction. Energy covers me. Adrenaline stored up in my soul can now pour out on the world. I'm not running because I'm soaking up the moment. My fallings had kept me locked up for an extensive period. Putting chains on me that really deserved to be there. I never really have payed my full due. Mercy brought the end to my sad state. Releasing the sinner from hell fire. I feel like the flames have come close enough to singe my skin. I stayed in the heat in the past because it felt good? I won't go back. This feels like God is walking beside me.

Charlie

If I had a camera I would show you a picture of Charlie.*enter pic here* He's probably my favorite here at GBS. Today I saw him sitting on the bed of Darrell's truck when I was making a couple rounds for work. He was eating. Darrell's truck always has empty bottles, trash and probably food left over in it. So without him knowing, Darrell and maybe others give Charlie food. I even saw him down by the south door of the Academy this morning. That was probably around 8ish. It's not always easy being Charlie I'm sure. With all the neighborhood dogs and stuff. Charlie just seems to make the campus so much brighter and natural. My favorite is when I see him on main campus. Charlie is just amazing!




( if you are wondering, Charlie is the name for any squirrel around here :))

WHY

I just dont understand it. Why? What would possess some people?
So yesterday I went to my D group leaders house and found out that no one was there. I found someone that had their number and got them to pick me up. Mr. Adam Profit came and got me and we went to Starbucks where everyone already was. I had an enjoyable time. Who wouldn't?
The deal is that my group left me because someone told Adam that I was working.I wasn't as you can figure out. That could of been an honest mistake. But I think it was a HUGE mistake when someone told me they heard I went on a date that night. Uh-oh!!! Why would someone think that? Okay, I may know why, but that doesn't give a person a reason to assume anything. :)
Point is to know the facts before you say things.

Vine St. Kids Klub

Pictures from Kids Klub

Too Long

I think its been too long since I last blogged. It has to be over a week now.
So much has been happening too.
I think the two biggest things that have happened are turning in my first English paper and going to Youth Challenge. I turned in my paper this past Friday and I'm really glad that that one is finished. We just have to start our next one now.
Youth Challenge was Awesome!! And it was actually more than just going to see my friends like it's felt other years. But I did get to see some of my favorite people: Ryan, Pam, my cousins, people from camp, and lots of others. The services and speakers were really great this year speaking on the power of sin, manhood, we are not failures, etc.
This past weekend was one of my favorites :)

Paper

( I thought that I lost my blog when I was writing last night cause I was typing and then everything just disapppear, but thanks to technology it was saved. I didn't realize it was saved until this morning so here it is.)

I just got off work at 11:30 and now I'm blogging, eating pie, chatting, and checking mail. What a life!
The big thing that has taken up the last couple days is the rough draft for an English paper. The nice part is I finally got the rough, rough draft done. I need to say a BIG thanks to Ashley who helped me get some problems out of the way( I owe you ash). I got amazing friends here.

I think everything else is mostly going good. I got to go to my first D group on Wednesday so that made me extra happy.

I took a test in Foundations of Music Ministry and I'll say I could of done a lot better( Not like I failed though). I thought, "Okay, so next time I'll just study more, it's no big deal". Then right at the end of my shift, I was talking to Brandon about the test and it just warmed my heart when he said that we all go through difficults and struggles, but that doesn't change God. We can trust in Him and he will help us. I was so happy after Brandon said that, I just wanted to clap my hands and shout (:

Day

My day:
I woke up at 7:30, showered, dressed, got stuff for classes, and headed down stairs.
I met with Mr. J. Singleton for English class, turned in my implications, talked a couple minutes, and headed to the music hall.
In the music hall, I waited in the classroom until Mrs. Robinson told us that class was canceled because Mrs. Miller's boy was sick and Mrs. Miller couldn't make it. I then headed to chapel.
I was super early to chapel so I hung around and talked to Janet and Hayley.
Chapel was good. Dr. N. Pop talked about how he was raised in Romania and how Christians are affected over there.
I then hung out with Jenni in the parlor till christmas choir practice. I thought I would die in there. I was just apathetic in there today. (: I then headed down to lunch.
I ate lunch. I then went to my room to take a nap. I took a nap and headed to the music hall.
At the music hall I practice the piano for an hour. I then had a meeting with Mrs. K Foster about beginning my portfolio. I then headed to my room.
I then took my trash out. If I remember correctly( its been a stupid day lol), I then hung out in my room. I pretty much hung out there for a while. I then headed down to the snack bar to read a little before Mom picked us up.
Mom, Rochelle, Sam, Melissa and I got in a car and headed downtown. In downtown, we parked and went into a chinese restaurant to eat with Uncle Mike. We then enjoyed awesome food together.
Afterwards, Mom and I headed back to GBS where Mom dropped me off and she headed home.( Uncle Mike, Sam, Mel and Chell went some other place to eat cheesecake)
I went to my room, did a few things, then headed to hang out with Jenni. I hung out with Jenni for a while in the snack bar. I then headed to my dorm.
In the dorm, I signed in, watched some ping pong, worked out, played a game of ping pong, and came up to my room.... and here I am. I'm tired. Goodnite.

Sickness

I hate sickness. Doesn't everyone? Well, I don't have it yet, but it has swarmed G.B.S. by storm.
We are probably one of the last colleges to get it this season though. I don't know if that is good or bad. Lots of students have been quarantined to their rooms while they are sick to try to slow this terrible flu, H1N1,etc down ( Yes, there have been cases of swine flu here).
So I guess this community is just one big happy(SICK) family and have been taught well to share. The problem is I don't think that was ever meant to share sickness.

Homecoming

This past weekend was homecoming for alumni here at God's Bible College. An exciting time I'm sure for all the "old" people.
The great part for me was I got to work friday and saturday night during homecoming. Not to mention a couple extra hours. So here, two weeks in a row, I worked 22 hours for a normal 15 hour week. I've worked the more hours because its extra or I'm working these weeks to take off for other things I need to go to.
Homecoming had a banquet dinner friday night, a service, then ice cream. Saturday was like a picnic with food, sales, a dunk tank,etc all on main campus. It was all quite fun for the parts students got to participate in(which that would minus the ice cream). A bonus was seeing RuthAnn, plus Ms. Fikes and her being generous to give the all night guard pizza(ME)!

More

Something more that I love is that the Cravens have a wood burner to heat their place and the smell around campus is just amazing!
Another thing is that during the day its warm, but cool enough to feel like fall... Its a sweet feeling. Before long, I'll be heading home for thanksgiving and enjoying the holidays.
School is going good. I'm in my neighbor's room studying for the NT Lit quiz tomorrow right now.
My last entree talked about an English essay and I'm glad to say I got a B-. That class is funny, but I do believe that it won't be with this coming week.
I do also believe its amazing how much snacks and things I receive during work. Today I worked for 4 hours and I took Mom's cookies to eat, Jenni brought brownies, and Renee brought in pumpkin bread left over from her D group. That was just today. Other times I've gotten a shake, fries, cookies, etc. (:

I feel good

I feel good! Maybe I'm basing this all on feelings, but my feelings are high (:
Things that are happening: (This will probably random, but I like it..)
1.Like I took a nap today so I look like a zombie but I am refreshed a little.
2. Like when I had to let Lucas Ryder into the band room during work because it was locked. Out of no where on our way there we were talking about our inner black female Gospel singer deep inside of us. I need to tell you that mine has never appeared. LOL.
3. Like today in NT Lit. we were going to watch a documentary on Rome, but it didn't work out The greatest part was we got popcorn because Pastor Cravens slaved over a microwave for an hour. The documentary video didn't work so we had our quiz, ate popcorn and left.
4. Like I get to work tonight, it will be the third time this week out of four times that I have to. It makes me happy because it makes my schedule open to go to Youth Challenge Friday the 30th.
5. Like Sam is getting better and I am slowly seeing him in the halls on campus. If people are wondering how he's doing, ask him. It's not like he doesn't have his own mouth.
6. The funniest thing ever is the little essay we have to write for English about an article called Coffee As a Means of Grace, A Sip of Theological Humor by Michael Svigel. Josh May, another student here at GBS, thinks he can sum up his essay with one sentence, "He's on crack!" LOL.
Besides my teacher, Mr. Singleton, I think it is the funniest thing in any English class ever.


( Do you like how many times I used the word "like"?)

Another quote

" They lied, they died, they fried" - Pastor Cravens speaking about Ananias and Sapphira

IDK

Well, I am in the library again. Its a typical Saturday. Went to bed at 2 and got up at 1030. I got up, took a shower, put a load in the laundry and went down for brunch. Then of course I came to the library.
Yesterday was spent on chapel and classes. Plus I started a short paper due by Tuesday. After supper and stuff I went over to Rochelle's with Christi, Jenni, Elizabeth and Jon Mark. When we got back to campus, I went down the gym to play and watch volleyball.
I am super tired. Besides going to the store with sis, doing laundry, homework and everything else I will try to find some more sleep somewhere.
I feel like my blog and life is getting so routine. Of course it is with having to do the same classes and having a strict schedule to follow. The good thing about it is it forms discipline and it makes the other little, extra things I do so much better.

sureprise

It is a surprise how much I stay busy and moving in this life. Today was the last real campus connection event of competitions in sports and games. Plus I practiced piano, went to river front to play volleyball, stopped at Mcdonalds, went out to eat with my sis and madre, went to the mall with Jenni, Christi, Chelle, and Christianna, and visited Sam at the hospital and hung out in my neighbor's rooms. ( Should I mention that I have homework to do? Well, I did get part of my English hw done so I decided to reward myself with the blog (: )

Quotes

"Jesus is like Matt Dillon from Gunsmoke scaring off the bad guys" - Pastor Mark Cravens referring to Jesus driving away the people from selling in the temple.

"It's not"'She's cute". It's 'Dude, she's hot!'" - Mr. Justin Singleton referring to a theory in English class about the "Sons of God".

never ending

This stuff just never ends. From homework to work, from work to another activity, to sleeping, then classes, etc. Plus now we are in the first week of exams and tests. *sigh* :)

I am loving it though. Friday night GBS had their own talent show. Which was really awesome.. like really. I did participate by singing "What a Friend We Have in Jesus" with the international group. For all who think that's weird I was there to represent the U.S. of A and simply because they asked me to be in it. Saturday, I went to the mall and Taco Bell with Glenn, Jimmy, Josh, and Abby.

Its not quite heaven on earth, but it is cool. :)

Labor Day Weekend

This past weekend, Labor Day weekend, went pretty swell. I worked Friday and Saturday night from 9pm till 5am. ( saturday night was the first time that I heard gun shots around here)

Saturday was a lazy day for the most part. I got up in time for brunch and hung with people around campus for a couple hours. A group of college students, maybe twenty of us, went and saw the Shakespeare drama "As You Like It" at Eden Park. I did miss the end of the play because I had to come back in time for work.( I heard the couple in the play kissed and got married at the end so I wasn't too disappointed that I had to leave:))

Sunday, I went to New Life Bible Methodist Church with my sister. After I came back to campus I ate and slept for about three hours( Note the fact that I only got three hours of sleep Saturday night/Sunday morning because of work). Sunday evening service was held on campus and my brother Sam preached from Philippians 4. And of course I went down to the river Sunday night to see the great firework show. :)

On Monday, fifteen of us went on a hiking/shopping adventure. It was some of the most fun I've had since I've been at college. We hiked, played games, told riddles, ate at Subway and Taco Bell, shopped at the Outlets, and had awesome fellowship.

psych

Okay, so in General Psychology today right when class was about to end some of the students got into a discussion about the conscience.

Is the conscience a part of the Holy Spirit? Is it the same thing as the Holy Spirit? If we sear our conscience does that mean that Holy Spirit has given up on us and won't speak to us again? Is the only difference between humans and animals is that humans have a soul( because animals seem to have a conscience in that they can learn, show guilt, etc). If animals have a conscience then it can't be the same as the Holy Spirit because the Spirit does not dwell in animals, right?

That above is just the tip of the ice berg of the discussion. I want to know peoples thoughts on the conscience, Holy Spirit, the soul, etc.

The Call

The simple, quiet voice has it's way and the loud, clear voice has it's own way too. Either way, it is the best thing you ever want to hear. It's like a gentle shepherd leading his sheep in the safe path. There may still be pain and strife in the way, but all things will work out. Do you hear it? Do you feel anything tugging at your heart? "This is the Way, walk ye in it. Come and I will make it last forever." The sweet embrace that will follow will melt you into who you need to be. It will separate you and set you free. Do you hear it ringing? This call is for you. Take it and let it make you into who you are destined to be. This is nothing to hang up on. Will you answer the call to make it last for eternity?

- JDM

Zombies

I am sure if not now then in a week every student will look like a zombie. They will just be roaming around from class to class. They may even talk and have a conversation with those around them, but it won't be the same anymore because they won't be human. (:
I woke up just a while ago and still want to be in bed. I think I got 6 1/2 hrs. of sleep last night and I just got a 20 minutes nap.
I have started reading Matthew for NT lit. I think I will really like that class. I'm in the library right now cause I need to go read a chapter from a book here for Music Min.( The Battle for Christian Music by Tim Fisher).

Classes

Maybe I should wait till tomorrow where I will have gone through all my new classes, but I couldn't wait. I take my free time to blog and stuff while I can and I happened to have some now before revival tonight.This year has a great number of freshman. Classes went good today. It was just the first day so it was mainly a introductory to it all.
I got a job as security here. It reminded me of Mall Cop and the quote of how to reach for the gun we all know you really don't have. LOL.
It's been really awesome down here so far

At college

Okay, so I'm here at college saying hello. Moved in yesterday. I only need a desk, my computer set up and I just may be ready. I just got a few free minutes here then I'm off to my next meeting. I know I still have a full day ahead, like every day for the rest of my life. :) Hopefully I'll be able to still blog and keep in contact with the outside world...

Vacation

Some pics of Vacation- Putt putt

Me grabbing the lighthouse

under water tunnel

Wright brothers

Wright brother Memorial

Josh buried in the sand

Us at the Orcacoke Lighthouse

Cape Hatteras lighthouse

:)

VBS

Last week, the 3rd through the 6th, my church had Vacation Bible School. It was tons of fun.


OTIS the Moose- ME
Loco Larry and Conductor D

a skit

the train

the kiddies

8-7-09

Yesterday:
I woke up at 10( after going to bed at 5), did some yard work, went to the movies with Mel, Pam, Tyler, Caleb and Trevor, went to the final party day of VBS, and Durbens afterwards.
Today:
I woke up at 9ish( after going to bed at 12). I am hanging out watching Tvland shows. I have to pack sometime today because we are leaving for a week vacation. (:

Dr. Seuss

“You Know You're in Love When You Can't Fall Asleep Because Reality Is Finally Better than Your Dreams.” ~Dr. Seuss

My day

This morning I woke up to my alarm clock at 8:00 a.m. I changed my clothes, grabbed a few things and headed back to the woods. I got back to the camp site, threw some wood on the dying fire and sat to relax. Had breakfast when the guys( Keith, Josh and Trent) got up. We then hung around for more fellowship and finished up some firecrackers and stuff. (: We then packed up and broke camp. ( I was in the woods for the campout until the guys went to bed last nite. The reason I wasn't in the woods the whole night was because I came home to get a shower and sleep trying to avoid all possibilities, if I could, of getting poison ivy.)
I then headed to Wal*mart with my madre and josh to pick up supplies. Came home for a while and took a few minute nap.
In the afternoon, I head to Sarahs to hang out. We( myself, sarah and daniel) went to payless and target. We also picked up Starbucks. Yum.
This evening, my family and I went to church for VBS. I still say I am having a blast, but I'm tired, dude, seriously. Don't even ask why I'm still up talking about this. lol.

Lost

Are you living two lives? Saying nothing but lies? I thought there was a connection. I thought we had something. I'm scared of what to believe from you. I want to have faith in you. Show me that all I'm hearing, all I'm feeling, isn't true. I just want to come back to you. Is there any hope? I got a million things screaming at me. Should I confront this head on, wait, let you approach, ignore it? I thought it meant more than that. Ugh! Come on. You push a man's patience beyond sanity. I want this to all come out to a "No, never hunny". If only things were perfect. It sure felt like it 24 hours ago. If only things could be the way they were. Now I'm wishing on every 11:11 I see. I feel lost, so lost. Lost in my emotions, lost between truth and lies, lost of what to say. I'm lost in the questions. Why do things have to be this way? I see us standing there, in the alley, sharing our moment. That's what I want to feel forever. That's what I want to share for eternity. Am I lead to believe that that was the end? Has this already been over? Do you still feel the same way? I don't know what to do now. I will take any blame that's due. You really are what I feel is lost. I don't want to lose you. -JDM

Talk/Walk

Talk. Sweet talk. You talking to me. Talk to me.

I'm behind the wheel and I think of what I should say.
The confusion of me won't stop me from having a good day.
There are ten cars on the road tonight. Number eleven would be me.
I got music streaming in my ear. And guess what. Its sweet, so sweet.

Talk. Sweet talk. You talking to me. Talk to me.

I wasn't running away, but I wonder, I wonder if I should.
Wild thoughts like these go through my head while I sit on the hood.
My head is resting on my arms. Curled up by myself without you.
Is getting over this the right thing that I should do?

But I hear you... Talk. Sweet talk. You talking to me. Talk to me.
But I feel you... Walk. Slowly walk. Walk next to me. Walk with me.

Tell me the truth. The whole truth. Tell me nothing but the truth.
So help me God I will not dare make it something it's not.

Talk. Sweet talk. You talking to me. Talk to me.
Walk. Slowly walk. Walk next to me. Walk with me. - JDM

40 of me

40


where was your default picture taken?my fb right now was from the park
what's your middle name?david
your current relationship status?single and not looking for anyone else
does your crush like you back?sure
what is your current mood?content, happy
what color of shirt are you wearing?grey
what color socks are you wearing?none right now
Missing something?sure
if you could go back in time and change something, what would you do?things ive said
if you must be an animal for one day, what animal would you be?monkey cause we could throw poo at ppl and not get in trouble, lion to catch the helpless animals, mouse to go place others cant go, etc
ever had a near death experience?not so much
something you do a lot?facebook, read, sleep ,etc
the song stuck in your head?none right now, but im flipping thru songs, flyleaf currently
who did you copy and paste this from?susie
name someone with the same birthday as you?idk
when was the last time you cried? two nights ago
have you ever sung in front of a large audience?sorta
if you could have one super power what would it be?idk
what's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?clothes, face
what do you usually order from starbucks?carmael latte
what's your biggest secret?why would i tell
favorite color?black
do you still watch kiddie shows or tv shows?some ppl call it that
what's on your walls?any random thing
what are you?im a male, 18, sometimes quiet, etc
do you speak any other language?i took a little spanish. like never use it
what's your favorite smell?perfume, cologne, food,etc
Describe your life in one word.mellow
have you ever kissed in the rain?no
what are you thinking about right now? awesome jonas brothers song (:
what should you be doing?looking at my Briona's pesents?
who was the last person that made you upset/angry?not sure..
how often do u talk to God?not enough
do you like working in the yard?sometimes
if you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?mine
do you act differently around the person you like?no
what is your natural hair color?brown
who was the last person to make you cry?no one

I Wish

I wish I was by her side. I wish I could tell her... I wish nothing would ever separate the space between us. I wish the time would never end. I wish you were in my arms. I wish I could tell you those three magic words. I wish I was by her side. I wish...

-JDM

A.Y.C.

I am back from AYC. My brothers and I got home around 10:15 last night. This past week has been awesome, the best ever! I had lots of fun meeting new ppl, seeing old friends, hanging out, playing games, great services, food, Bible Bowl, etc. I am glad to say I won Bible Bowl this year keeping the legacy alive with 1,685 points. I think my favorite two sermon titles were Failure is not Final and Having a Meaning Devotional Life. One great thing I'll never forget is the ride home with Sam, Keith and Josh. We stopped for gas and food and we ate at Wendy's. :) I won't go into the whole story but lets just say that the ppl working there will never be the same. lol. This week has been better than I ever hoped.

I thought I'd also share some good lines from camp from this year and past years.

"Did that fall over?"
"It's not about you, its about me."
" Those dirt stains on your mattress, they're not dirt."
" We'll all fall asleep and it won't matter."
" Go to bed"
" This is what dreams are made of."
" Must be nice..."


The guys watching a movie the night before camp

Pam and I at the banquet

Ryan and I

Some of the great ppl at camp :)

Sit still

You cannot imagine my xcitement for next week. I can already sit here long enough to type this ( plus I need to finish packing today). A.Y.C. is one of my favorite times of the year. I think it falls maybe ahead of my b-day cuz who cares if your a year older anyways. :) I'm listening to upbeat music getting my adrenaline rush stirred up. CAMP IS HERE!!!

Summer Fun

I love this season. Seeing the lightning bugs in the night sky. Able to sleep under the stars in the warm breeze. The heat is a warm welcome from the winter freeze. During the day, able to soak up the sunshine. Making a goal to work on your tan once again this year. Hitting the beach and water with enthusiasm. Trying to avoid the three leaved branches on your hikes through the forest. Excited to see God's green creation in full life. You can't help but feel alive like everything around you. Don't forget the fireworks on the holidays. Watching a painted sky with those close to you. What is not to like about this sweet time of year with summer break and the blessings of it. The green grass and colorful flowers are showing their glory. I think this is my favorite season. - JDM

Cedar

Yesterday Sam, Mel, Rosie and I went to Cedar Point. Score! Nothing like rides to set your heart pounding, screaming your head off and eating the fun food. :) Sad to say that Rosie lost her celly, hopefully they can find it. Also, I am sure that Rosie is now convinced to start a blog of her own and realize the necessity of it. Every ride we went on was totally awesome in its own way beyond description. I think it was one of the funest days of this year.

Update

1. I love the feel of myself being clean shaved.
2. I love cereal.
3. I am excited for A.Y.C.
4. I am excited for Cedar Point( tomorrow).
5. I worked 30 hours this week.
6. I figure I shall be tired the rest of my life.
7. Thought I would share some memories from my family reunion...

we have his tradition to go to the park playground and take pics.

Me taking a break from the swings

Nathan, Joshua, Samuel, and I on the tubes of dispair( pic for our new album cover. lol)

Josh's fav pic
Thee ladder :)
old pose

Sam and Mel

Mel being beautiful

Josh and I on the tubes of dispair

Wipe your hands, shake it off Then you stand, then you stand - Rascal Flatts

Inside 'em

Come and follow me, my child

Have you ever found someone you really, really, really liked? why so many reallys??
Last person you gave a hug to (not family)?idr
What was the first thing you did this morning? talked on the phone, keith was my alarm clock lol( "Night is coming...")
What do you hear right now?the hum of the computer
Do you think somebody's in love with you?Family,Friends, etc
How are you feeling?okay
Do you think anyone stalks you?haha
Do you say sorry first? i guess
Think of the last time you were REALLY angry, when was it? hmm. maybe wednesday.. but i wasnt really angry, i think it was monday
Name something you are doing tonight? Not sure yet
Will tomorrow be better than today? Ill be with family, you tell me
At this very moment, what exactly are you doing? watching hogans heroes
Who were you last in a bed with? my stuffed animals
Has a girl sat on your bed before?like sisters
Do you sleep with your door open or closed? Closed
Ever kissed someone else's boyfriend/girlfriend? NO
Could you go the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? DUH
How many girls do you trust? not many
Do you curse in front of your parents? No, never every anywhere
At what age do you want to be married?after colledge, who knows when
Are you one of those twilight crazy people? ive only read the first book, idc
Expecting something to change in the next month? some things will
How much money did you spend last month? over fifty im sure
Where's your significant other? idk
What color are your eyes? brown
What was the last thing you cried over and who saw you cry? umm last time i cried no one saw it
Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be?no
Do you like to listen to the radio when you are in the car?yes
Who were you with the last time you went to the movie theater?Bryan
Honestly has anyone ever seen you in your underwear? thats a given
Do you miss someone? yes
Who else is in the room with you?No one
How is your hair right now? w/e
Will you be up before 7 am tomorrow? i might be
What school did you go to for 8th grade?homeschooled
What did you do today?slept, studied, cleaned the car,cleaned the one house, etc
Did you speak to your mother today?yeah
Three days from now will you be in a relationship? dont ask me
Is it easy to make you cry? not really
Do you consider yourself lucky? luck is only for cookies
Lose a best friend lately?idk
Have you told anybody you loved them today?no
Do you take walks often? walks.. ha no
Are your eyes the same color as your moms or dads? my moms i think
Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell anything to? mostly
Are you afraid of roller coasters? well i shall practice monday and get back to you
Do you care what people think of you?some times
Where will you be 12 hours from now? hopefully in bed sleeping
Who was the last person you talked to before you fell asleep? either josh or trent
Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? i like both, i love chocolate
Do you sleep on your stomach? rarely

Thank God

I'm up just a little early, but I thank God that I have been able to work the last couple days. I am helping my mom's cousin roofing. Hopefully, it looks like we will finish up today and I will have worked over 25 hours. The down side to this is that I have to get up a little after 6 each morning and if you know me being a teenager, it kills. I'm tired already and I've only been up 45 minutes. What I want to do is crawl back into my warm, soft bed and forget my life and dream of a place that dosen't wake me up just for work, food, studying, regular life, etc. I miss the days when I could sleep in. lol.

I Know.

I don't know what all is going through your head. If this is nothing then just let me speak and I'll be done with it. I don't know all the circumstances, but I know it is a possibility and even then it shouldn't be. I just want to end today. I'm tired, worn out, and mad at myself for something I can't remember. Heat is pouring off of me and I'm shivering. I say to myself " if only...". Will things go back to how they were? I don't deserve it. I heard the hurt, the frustration, the let down in your voice. I know what should and shouldn't be said. I know what should and shouldn't be thought. I know what a jerk is. I know what I am. My head is in my hands, my teeth are grit, I have a scowl on my face, thinking. I'm thinking, "Scum bag, why did you have to go and screw that up?" Don't thinking I'm like that. I'm usually not like that. I hope you can agree. Do what you have to so I learn my lesson. I never ever want to do that again. Please forgive me for anything I've done. Good night. - JDM

Spending Time

Review:
The last couple days I've just hung around. Tuesday night, Josh and I went to the Yoder's for a bon fire and fun. Wednesday was just more hanging out and church. Thursday was Bible study, where I got to play Wii...fun fun fun. Friday, today, I painted more of the shed, weed- eated, studied bible bowl, and went to Cici's with one of my favorite families, the Collins. Had awesome fun in the arcade!
A song that I just listened to today, Spending Time, by Stellar Kart is in my mind.

The Wrong Form

I have the power to build or destroy. Do you want me to leave it as it is and let it slowly grow old. Like my body, I got to keep giving it the nutrition and exercise it needs or else it will shrivel up and die. Why would I want to do that in another form? I need to feed this. I take the proverb into consideration and question how I form the future through my actions, words, silence, and thoughts. I'll figure the good from the bad and the good from the evil. Some things make us and some things break us to make a better us. I want to be the best I can, but the breaking hurts. Tear drops show my sincerity. The pain that's tearing me apart doesn't feel necessary. I'm madder at myself than anybody else. "Come on man, why did you do a stupid thing like that?" Frustration boils over and forms a fist. I wonder if it's you. Don't drag your problems over me. Then I wonder if I'm getting off track cause I want to blame you. You, you, you. That's what it keeps coming back to. We want different things. I want my way and your way. Is there a balance I can have? What have I made this into? I see a formation and it looks a lot like you. - JDM

Itch

Thurday morning I went to help out at my church's rummage sale. I've heard that that went pretty swell. Praise the Lord!
Friday's highlight was going paint balling with the youth guys. The down side was that there was mosquitos with a deadly thirst for blood taking about a pint of mine. lol. I think I got three times as much bites as I did hit by any paintballs.
Today's( Saturday) main event was going to the church's guys brunch at Silver Creek Metro Park where we had food, corn hole, volleyball, and all of us took a hike. Nice fun. Now I'm just hanging around home enjoying the peace and quiet of a Saturday evening.
One thing about the past three days is I've fallen asleep on our couch. Not sure what it is all about but it just happens.

Movie Adventure

The story of my movie adventure:
"It's like America, just South." - quote from Up. LOL
I believe it started last week sometime when I was talking to Meg. I said I wanted to go see the new Pixar movie Up and Meg came up with this idea of setting up an event on Facebook. She did so and invited everyone that both of us knew. We got a few responses, a few yes', some no's, and several maybe's. So I thought * hey, this is good. This could be really fun having a group of friends going to the movies*.
Then yesterday I was reminded of the movie event which was scheduled for today. I thought well maybe we won't have a lot of being going, but it will still be fun. I talked to Pam a couple times saying maybe she could go then maybe she couldn't, finally getting that she couldn't. I chatted with Meg and found out that she wouldn't even be going. I thought *Hmm? Should I even try going to the movie by myself?* lol.
Do not fret. This story has a happy ending. Ha. I called up Bryan, a scout that doesn't live far from the theatre, and asked him if he wanted to go see the movie. He agreed. Score!!
Another funny thing was when I got to the theatre, I looked at the schedule and seen that the movie didn't start for another half hour. Opps. Somehow the schedule on the website I looked at yesterday was a little off. No harm, Bryan and I just played air hockey and an arcade game to fill in time. :)

Sooo

This weekend was good and tiring. I think I slept for 10 hours last night. Of course it was good and lots of fun, just I NEED sleep. If I miss an hour or something it can totally change things. LOL. I'm thinking of camp which is less than a month away. I hope I get enough sleep or I just might shut down. This reminds me to go study....

Saturday nite

Its Saturday nite( almost sunday in a few minutes) and I'm really... happy, joyful, excited.... could i even say shiny. lol. ( i dont kno if thats in the right context)
Today, I had my Eagle Scout Court of Honor. I say it went really good. People are saying it did. Glad for everyone that was there and everyone that made it possible.
Also, my siblings are all home so that's really cool. Played catch with my bros this evening. Enjoying being couch potatoes together watching movies like Paul Blart:Mall Cop and Hotel for Dogs.
Got off the phone about an hour ago with a friend from camp that I don't get to talk to much. Totally cool.
I am tired. Ha. So what's new. w/e. I got pretty much just positive things to say. Can't complain. God is good... All the time.

Survey says...

Beginners...
my name is: Jonathan McConkey
this morning i was: sleeping till 9
im afraid of: fear
i dream about: the future
been in love: ha i guess.. idk
cried when someone died: yes
lied: yesf
lowers or candy: i like candy better but its not healthy
scruff or clean shaven: depends mostly clean
tall or short: im short
With The Opposite Sex...
what do you notice first?: maybe clothes..
last person you slow danced with:no one
worst question to ask: does this make me look fat lol
Who...
makes you laugh the most?: no one in particular
makes you smile: about everyone
gives you a funny feeling when you see them: ha im sure theres some
is easier to talk to: boys or girls?: not sure
Do You Ever...
sit on the internet waiting for someone special to IM you?: ha
save AIM conversations?: no
wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: no
cry because of something someone has said: no
pray?: yes
Have You Ever...
fallen for your best friend? sure
rejected someone: ohh yes
cheated on someone: no
been cheated on: no
done something you regretted: everyone has
wanted to die: who hasnt
Who Was The Last Person...
you talked to on the phone: rochelle
hugged: kayla lol
you instant messaged: bryan
you laughed with: someone at church
Do You...
color your hair: no
ever get off the computer: yes
habla espanol: ( speaks spanish)... little
sprechen sie deutsches: haha
fight with your parents: not really
have friends you've lost touch with: sure
feel happy?:yes
wish you could fly away.. far, far away?: randomly
believe in God?: yes
could you live without the computer?:idk
what's your favorite candy?: ohh like chocolate
whats your favorite fruit?: strawberries
sunrise or sunset?: not sure both are cool
what hurts the most? physical pain or emotional pain? ha..
trust others way too easily?: not sure
are your fingers cold?: no
coke or pepsi: more pepsi
Final Questions...
I want: to be better
I wish: everything works out
I love: everyone
I miss: some
I fear: things in the dark
I hear: the computer hum
I smell: nothing really
I wonder: how the future will unfold

Improvement

You know those times when you just want to do better. You want to improve, but there is a constant struggle. The Apostle Paul talked about doing what he didn't want to do and it's still facing us today. I felt that way the other day and it sorta came out like this...


I feel bad as soon as I do it, as soon as I say it. The guilt comes and swallows me up. You say it's okay and I'm really not a jerk, but I don't always agree. I'm waiting for the sun while it's raining and you say the weather is quite nice. I can do way better. I don't want to ever cause one drop of doubt in your mind that I love you and want the best for you. I want you to be happy. I wish I could do more for you. When someone has been so good to you and is a positive aspect of your life they deserve it. You deserve the best I can pour out. I know there is better in me. I may not be the worst guy out there, but there is always room for improvement. I'm just saying I may not be a jerk I just want to treat you better. - JDM

Not much

There is not too much to report.
Summer is kicking in with its lazy habits.
I love to sleep in, just mosey around, watch movies, and spend time on the computer.
Yesterday was pretty much that, except Joshua and I went to Wildcat Ranch( a local
friend's camp) that we've gone to a couple years. What we've done last year and this
year is just go for the last nite to see the crowd and watch skits they've made up. They
always bring a few laughs and a smile to my face.

trials

My Pastor last Sunday morning spoke about the truth of trials( I Thes. 3:3-4) And just the other day I came across this other thing about trials, maybe God is saying something. lol. " We can use adversity for gain. We need to learn from trials—to grow from the experience and be made better (James 1:2-3). Sometimes we should “escape” trials/temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13). Sometimes we should “flee” (Matthew 10:23). And at other times, trials are to be confronted and endured (2 Thessalonians 1:4; 2 Timothy 4:5; Hebrews 12:7). We must face the things that challenge us and grow in virtue because of the challenge."

Spiders

This past weekend guys( three adults and eight boys) from my church went camping. On Friday we left the church at 4 and got to our camping spot around 7. Set up camp, started cooking, hung out, Denver the youth leader spoke a little, and we just enjoyed the outdoors with the guys.

Saturday, We first got up and ate breakfast. Then Denver spoke to us a little more to be men of integrity( I really enjoyed it). At one point that morning a couple of us went down to the pond and tyler slipped hitting his butt on the dock and only getting his legs wet to his knees. We tore down camp and went all over Hocking Hills hiking and seeing the great wonders of Creation. We even happened to see a couple snakes which was awesome. Us guys stopped at the one place to eat lunch with some tasty hot dogs, chips, peanuts and beans. On our way back home we stopped at Taco Bell!!( I'll just leave it up to ur imagination what the van smelled like the rest of the way.lol.)

Friday night around the campfire, Jamie started talking about Camel Spiders. Saying these spiders which came from over seas in the desert were vicious insects that ate camels along with saying other funny, crazy nonesense about them. So Camels spiders were the joke the rest of the weekend. This interested me so I just had to look 'em up. The scary thing is these are actual poisionous spiders, but thankfully they are not as wild as Jamie said they were.

I thought I would post some myths and facts about camel spiders.

Myths:
1. Camel spiders can move at speeds over 30 MPH, screaming while they run. 2. Camel spiders can be as large as a frisbee. 3. Camel spiders venom is an anesthetic that numbs their prey. 4. Camel spiders can jump three feet high. 5. Camel spiders get their name because they eat the stomachs of camels. 6. They eat or gnaw on people while they sleep. Due to the numbing effect of their venom, the victim is unaware until they awake.

Facts:

Camel spiders top speed is 10 mph. Which is very fast for a such a small creature..
Size: Up to 8 inches, although many report larger.
They are called camel spiders because they live in the desert.

Gates of Hell

Something from Bible Study last night: Pastor was talking about making sure we have God's blessing and will in and on our lives. We cannot be fooled that everything in life will be peaches and cream when Christ is our Savior though. Jesus said He came to bring division and a sword. There is a constant battle and only through struggle will we someday find rest.

Ephesians 6:12 KJV
"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places."

Storm the Gates of Hell by Demon Hunter

Broken teeth, a shattered jaw
Ten to one, behold my God
Wicked sons of Heaven’s loss
Raise your own inverted cross
Kings of earth, iron first
Serve the sacred you dismissed
Stand before your final day
Choke on every line you pray
Raise your glass to death
Not one second left
Wake the lifeless, die to fight this
Stand beside me, storm the gates of Hell
Wake the lifeless, die to fight this
Stand beside me, storm the gates of Hell
Storm the gates of Hell
Coward’s heart, a serpent’s tongue
Stand to face what you’ve outrun
Fear of death, fear of pain
Bound to all you took in vain
No more lies, no regrets
Sever ties and hollow debt
Open eyes, live to learn
Or watch your blessed temple burn
Raise your glass to death
Not one second left
Wake the lifeless, die to fight this
Stand beside me, storm the gates of Hell
Wake the lifeless, die to fight this
Stand beside me, storm the gates of Hell
Storm the gates of Hell

Anger

"Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind." - Evan Esar

Psalm

Among the gods there is none like You.You alone are God. You alone are my God. The evil attack me on every side. Through it all I will praise my gracious God. You are my God. Please guard my life and save me from the depths of the ruthless. I call to You, God, every day. I am confident that it comes to your throne. My King and my God, I will worship You in my life everyday of my life. The God of the universe who created all things, You are the only One who can make me blameless. God Almighty, when my heart is full of trouble I will be thankful your love stands forever. I will praise You for your faithfulness. You are more awesome than any other living being. You have made me alive. Raising me from the dead. Waking me from my sleep.

PARTY

Today was my graduation party!( I shared it with Rochelle who graduated from College this year). It waz awesome. :) Lots of food, fun and fellowship with friends and family.